Carla Ulbrich: Professional Smart Aleck


Her Fabulous Debut

Boy Wonder

Carla Ulbrich
Carla Ulbrich


I saw this story around 3am on the news, about a 21 year old guy who had graduated college at 11. For a couple of years, he held the Guinness Book Record for Youngest Person with a College Degree, until a 10-year old came along and broke it. The reporters (and the rest of us) wanted to know how his life had turned out. Kind of a "where are they now?" of the Guinness Book. The real hero is his mom, who won a custody battle after divorcing the Boy Wonder's dad, and put the Boy Wonder back in school with kids his own age.


I was 11 years old when I finished my degree
Got my picture in the paper and my story on TV
To be so young and so amazing took a genius they were sure
I was the center of attention and my future was secure

Chorus: I'm the boy wonder
They all know my name
I'm the boy wonder but still I feel the same
They talk about boy wonder and the promise that it brings
But I'm the boy wonder and it doesn't mean a thing
So they asked me how I did it was I born a prodigy
I tell them anyone can do it if they live a life like me
Buried in the books while the others played outside
I learned all about scholastics and a father's selfish pride


I was told it was an honor when I made the Guinness book
So I opened up a copy I just thought I'd have a look
My perusal was revealing I still see it in my sleep
Haunted by the volume of the company I keep:
The largest ball of twine and the longest fingernails
People struck by lightning
The fastest moving snails
Tallest totem pole and the longest loaf of bread
Most objects juggled while turning pirouettes
Largest jigsaw puzzle and the biggest piece of cheese
My years of study had earned a place with these ...

So I forfeited my childhood living in the public eye
And a paragraph in Guinness was my consolation prize
Now my choices lay before me with the future open wide
So when I graduated college I went back to Junior High

I'm the boy wonder but now I've changed my name
Because I've always wondered what it's like to be the same
No longer living under the attention that it brings
Yeah I was the boy wonder and it didn't mean a thing Doodootdo ...