Carla Ulbrich: Professional Smart Aleck



We Don't Need a WalMart

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Carla Ulbrich & Bob Malone
Carla Ulbrich and Bob Malone


This song is on "Leftovers." WalMart sued my hometown (Clemson, SC) because they wanted to build in a neighborhood instead of a business district and we said "no." I stayed up all night writing these lyrics, and Bob wrote the music and gave me the word "Labotomy" (I asked him "what's something you'd never want to have?" That was his answer). We finished it 5 minutes before going on stage in Clemson.


12 miles to the East a Wal-Mart sets 12 miles to the North another one yet 12 miles to the South that's right you bet That's why I say we don't need a Wal-Mart We don't need a Wal-Mart I'd rather have trees and grass I'd rather have a hemherroid or an algebra class They got no scruples They got no class We don't need a Wal Mart They can kiss my butt So we said hey Wal-Mart We don't want you We won't rezone they said Oh yeah we'll sue┬Ł So now we got 3 lawyers all getting their due Thank you Wal-Mart, that's mighty neighborly of you We don't need a Wal-Mart in our community The best things in life aren't cheap they're free We could do without the pleasure of this kind of company We don't need a Wal-Mart in this locality A store so big you got to have a map Aisles and aisles of cheap imported crap It's what some folks like to call progress I call it proof that sometimes more is less Don't really have to think too hard About whether I want one in my backyard 118 towns already said no We'd also like to tell you where not to go We don't need a Wal-Mart We already got three How many big-ass ugly grey buildings with a red stripe do we really need I wish Sam was alive so he could hear me I'd say I'd rather have a frontal lobotomy than a Wal-Mart in front of me