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Carla Ulbrich: Songs

(I Don't Like) Corny Schlocky Sappy Songs

(Carla Ulbrich)
February, 2003
Carla Ulbrich
I wrote this after a long road trip where I was having a hard time staying awake and the only thing I could get on the radio was the syndicated "Delilah" program- ALL LOVE SONGS (Zzzzzzzzzzz).
I don’t like corny schlocky sappy songs
About the way it was when you were mine
But every time I turn on the radio
It's the only kind of song I can find

On every station an irritating whiny steel guitar
I've nearly worn out the seek button on the radio in my car

I don’t like corny schlocky sappy songs
About the way it was when you were mine
But every time I turn on the radio
It's the only kind of song I can find

Some guy in a cubicle trying to sound beautiful
He breaks out his thesaurus throws in another chorus
He took songwriting classes
He's writing for the masses
That's where it all begins
I will not be sucked in

By a corny schlocky stupid tacky boring song
about the way it was when you were mine
every time I turn on the radio it's the only kind of song I can find

Between the news and the preacher and the shouting car ads
It's hard to find a song at all and then I’m really mad when it’s a
Boring stupid crappy sappy tacky song about the way it was when you were mine

About how when you kissed me I melted inside
How when we parted part of me died
How I often wondered if you'd ever come back
I'd never write about that

Because…

I don’t write corny schlocky stupid songs
About the way it was when you were mine
Every time I turn on the radio
It's the only kind of song I can find

I don’t like corny schlocky lame pathetic sappy pointless unsubstantial vapid boring tedious monotonous long and drawn out
Songs about the days when you were mine