Steve Key and I were hanging around outside the Bluebird when someone (obviously not from Nashville proper) walked by conversing loudly and using the F word every few seconds. He said "If I had the copyright on taht word I'd be a rich man!" I busted out laughing and said that's a great idea! You gotta write a song about that! He told me it was the worst idea fora song he'd ever heard, which of course inspired me to no end. Later that evening I was "dining" at a greasy spoon with the Bluebird cook and afterwards, sitting in his car listening to bootlegs of Mose Allison at the Bluebird, and I told him about the song idea. He said "You can't write a song about that." After 2 such reactions, I was now so inspired, I wrote the song in the car on my drive home from Nashville.
Lyrics
If I Had the Copyright on the word ^%$%!
I'd say ---- this job and yourself you dumb ~~~~
No need for hard work and no need for luck
If I Had the Copyright on the word ^%$%!
It's filthy it's nasty unseemly and vile
That all may be true but it's so versatile
So often deleted this fine expletive
Is a verb a noun and an adjective
If I Had the Copyright on the word ^%$%!
I'd have no need for dad-gum dang darn shoot or shucks
No need for hard work and no need for luck
If I Had the Copyright on the word ^%$%!
Not a gasp not a sigh from my mouth would be heard
Nope just a cha-ching when I hear the F word
If people got jealous of all of my wealth
I'd tell them to copyright %$#*, $#@* and !$&*&$!
If I Had the Copyright on the word ^%$%!
It would roll off my tongue like water off a duck
4-letter word usages perfectly honed
I could retire on New York alone
Where the say #$^% the #$^%ing mother #$^%ers
I don't give a #$^%
If they can't #$^%ing take #$^%ing joke
then hey what the #$^%
The #$^%ers will #$^% you so don't get #$^%ed up
Quit #$^%in' around or you're gonna get #$^%ed
If I Had the Copyright on the word ^%$%!
I'd say *%&^% this job and yourself you dumb #^%$#
No need for hard work and no need for luck
If I Had the Copyright on the word ^%$%!